I almost trashed this recording a dozen times. I kept staring at it, my finger hovering over the little trash can icon and telling myself, “I should just get rid of this one and make more room on my phone.” Because really, I didn’t think I would ever post it. There are far too many mistakes. Too many notes that don’t ring perfectly. Too many places where my volume distorts the sound quality. Too many times when I had to cheat a peek at the lyrics.
Too many, too many, too many....
But every time I went to delete it, I stopped, because the truth is that I actually like this recording. Nancy and I laid it down after a super long weekend of singing and playing at back to back to back events. We were exhausted but we couldn’t resist the siren call of the grand piano and perfect echo waiting for us in the church foyer. So we stopped for yet another little jam session and decided to record this song “just for fun.” There is something about the rawness of it - the unrehearsed simplicity- that I just really dig. It’s hard to do a recording in one take with zero errors, and for a long time I stopped putting myself out there because nothing was ever good enough. There were just too many things to pick apart.
Then one day (back when my sister in law shaved her head- remember?) I decided that I was going to stop being a perfectionist and just do this thing for me. Out of the pure love of worship and singing, writing and storytelling. And toss the need for accolades and “atta-boys” out the window. I know I have a handful of groupies who will always be blessed by my songs and words (I see you, Mom!) and that’s why I share what I do. But today, this song with far too many mistakes, is coming to you this Christmas season simply because I love it. I hope you can see past the flaws and enjoy it too.
But if not- even though it took too many, too many, too many days for me to get here- I’m finally fine with that too.